No Need for Drama

Writers write what others are thinking. Or write what the others are afraid of thinking. Writers, with any luck, are writing the truth. Of what they see, hear, feel, or think. Even when it’s hard to say. So here goes…someone’s got to say it…

I am not surprised when I discover some poet has rocked the world with his or her depth and wisdom. That’s what writers and poets do. They observe, reflect, dig around a little, touch some nerves, make people feel. But I am very surprised when I learn that the writer or poet is under 30. I laugh actually. I know that’s not nice. But seriously? Something weird is happening. What is going on?

Most of this type of poetry is full of angst and pain. People want to feel not so alone in their pain, I suppose. Or they want to feel hopeful that they too can overcome such heartbreak and horror. We are becoming increasingly “me” focussed and introspective. And I don’t think that’s good. Why is this kind of “woe is me”, melodramatic, doom and gloom type of writing, COMING FROM YOUNG VOICES, gaining in popularity? Clearly this writing is relatable and this concerns me, gravely. In the olden days we called this Overthinking and Feeling Sorry for Yourself and it was discouraged at every turn in exchange for basic coping strategies like pulling up your socks, wiping your tears, putting your shoulders back, and getting on with things. Suck it up, Sunshine. And we did.

But now we have permission not to cope. We have permission to wallow. And commiserate. This permission, has lead to many of us successfully rewiring our damn brains and interfering with our brain chemicals to the extent that we have actually created physical and chemical changes. Our habitual poor thinking, leads to structural and chemical changes in the brain – think about that for a second. And….ready for it….chching chching….go the pockets of Big Pharma and Big Brother (oops, I mean Government).

(Those who were paying attention to the sudden proliferation of ADHD diagnoses exactly at the same time that pharma solutions like Ritalin became widely available are all nodding knowingly right  now. And let’s not even talk about the flu vaccine. Oh Gawd.)

Ohh, I sound judgmental and harsh, don’t I? I sound like I’m blaming the victim and stigmatizing those who suffer. Not at all. If you know me, you know I’m not at all insensitive. I may be a bit outspoken, but I do not lack empathy or compassion and just for the record I come from a family in which mental health issues have popped up generation after generation. And I certainly believe there’s a place for pharmaceuticals in the treatment of mental health and I absolutely believe in destigmatizing and getting people the help they need. I’m just worried that we’ve given up. And that popular poets, in the guise of “wisdom” and relatability, have intensified and normalized this kind of thinking.

And besides, shouldn’t those under 30 be working toward the greater good; changing the world; making a difference; starting a family or career; coming up with solutions; leaving a legacy; helping others; getting out there; being busy? I suppose there’s an argument that exposing their bleeding hearts for all to see can help others feel less alone and give them the strength to cope. But this feels more like a Pity Party than like shared wisdom. Why, oh why, are so many millions of young people navel gazing and hand wringing over how sad they are or how heartbroken they are or how much crap has happened in their past?

This “I am so deeply hurt”, “I am alone”, “no one else has possibly suffered to the degree that I have” type of introspection is getting tiresome…and boring. And more critically, I don’t think it is healthy for individuals or society as a whole.

I know I sound impatient and judgmental. If you are under 30, you are outraged that I am somehow diminishing your experiences. But I wager that most over the age of 30 probably have a similar reaction but are just too politically correct or polite to voice it. I am not saying your experiences are not traumatic and significant and life altering. I am merely saying, So what? I see no reason that the horrors and circumstances of the past should be carried around stoically to poison the future. Why would you do that to yourself? Makes no sense.

Tragedy happens. It’s heartbreaking. It’s often random and unfair. It’s gut wrenching. It brings you to your knees. It ruins lives. It changes futures. Who hasn’t had tragedy? I get it. Totally. Deaths. Illness. Abuse. Desertion. Accidents. Horror. Bad luck. Yes, yes, yes…..yeap, yeap….Been there. Done that. This is universal. This is life. And if you think I’m making light of it, you’d be wrong too. You don’t know me and my background and history and who I know and what I’ve seen, so be careful what you assume.

I write this because I’m worried. God knows, I’m not writing this to win a popularity contest. . Here’s why I’m worried. Big pharma and government (the tangled web that they are) has us right where they want us. We’ve been convinced that we can’t cope without professional help and that the “go to” solution is now in a bottle. People listen to their doctors and pharmacists as though they are all powerful Gods. Think about it, ask questions, find out how much your doc is being paid to write that prescription for you, find out what other options there are, do some reading, be accountable for your own mental health and don’t hand over all the responsibility to others. Don’t be a puppet of the system. You can hear the chching chching of their pockets right now as anxiety and depression diagnoses hit epic numbers and their newly available treatments go flying off the shelves. Brilliant. We fed right into it. We took the bait. We fell into their hands and cleverly crafted campaigns and let them convince us that we need help. And to top it off we keep encouraging each other to wallow and revisit and talk about our sadness and struggles ad nauseum, globally, at all hours, thanks to our modern hyperconnected world.

We need to encourage and support each other in good mental health habits, not bad ones.
We need to get busy. Get creating things. Get working on our ideas to change the world. Get off our phones and computers and get out of our own heads. The change of scenery will do us good.